Listening to Our Hearts

“Oh Lord, please don’t let me lose my baby,” I cried out spontaneously to God from the deepest places of my being that significant day over 40 years ago. A possible miscarriage was threatening my first pregnancy in the very early weeks. My doctor told me to rest and wait. And when I tearfully expressed my deep concerns and fears, he reminded me offhandedly that, “besides . . . it ISN'T a baby. It is just an embryo.”

I truly believe he meant to comfort me. However, everything in my being was repulsed by his words. Yes, I had read the books. I knew about sperm, eggs, zygotes, embryos and fetuses. But my heart told me I was carrying a baby—my baby, and I would protect it with every part of my being. The doctor wouldn’t call her a baby until months later when she was born--beautiful and healthy. But I knew much earlier. That day, my heart knew and felt a truth beyond medical descriptions found in textbooks.

I am graced by God to encounter this reality again. Our daughter and son-in-law have joyfully announced their expectations of a September baby. I find myself scanning books and websites to see the progression of this new life my daughter is carrying. There are those words again: zygote, embryo, fetus. I suppose they are helpful descriptors for the medical people. And I value the advancements the medical community has made, increasing the likelihood of a healthy baby being born. With amusement, I also agree with my daughter, that according to the pictures in the medical books, our grandchild at this point must look rather “alien.”

But since the evening our daughter called us on the phone with the glorious news, my heart has been singing. It does not say anything about zygotes, embryos and fetuses. It sings: my daughter is expecting a baby! I am going to have a grandchild! And my cup overflows with joy.

Sometimes our hearts know truths that are beyond the discoveries of medical science. At those times, I believe we should listen to and speak from our hearts.